I Don't Know

There are times I wish I was just deaf, blind, dumb, senseless and heartless. That the strong exterior that most people buy is the true skin that wraps my delicate flesh and nerves and everything else that lives in me. Yes I admit that I wear a mask in front of certain people. And perhaps I should wear a few extra masks when dealing with some. Sometimes, the harsh words that we say only comes back to hurt ourselves, and that makes it hurt way more than we can imagine. It hurts so badly that we just wanna escape that stupid thing that's causing all these miseries. And that's us, our very own selves. We are who we choose to be, we are how we choose to feel, we are what we choose to react upon. I cannot blame anyone but myself. Maybe this is pure bullshit. The world is not turning into robots but more like retarded beings. Those who care for the people continue to get stepped on and shoved to a corner for the menial tasks, those assholic ones handles the majestic role of ordering people around and non-stop manipulation in their every word. I cannot, I cannot handle crap like this. Not anymore. I have been on both ends of the stories and it sucks big time. Then again, maybe this is lethargy, maybe this is selfishness, maybe this is ignorance. I shall take a breather and reconcile things, my thoughts and whatnot tomorrow. As usual, time transitioned so fast we're coming to the middle of the year. I love the things that I do right now, challenges I have never expected. I wish I am stronger.