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One of the few snaps taken before you left. And although I laughed when I saw you broken, I knew there was something else going on somewhere deep down in me. You were beyond repair, what else could be said or done. Nothing.

18 months and still counting. :)

Epiphany

Hi there. Today's been great. Half of the usual crowd in uni, light drizzle instead of the usual thunder and storm, I don't know, it just felt different. The test was alright. And spending time with the interns was just wonderful. I kept forgetting and thought that they're locals. It's true that food connects people no matter where they come from. It's a universal subject everybody and anybody could relate to. Brought them on a tour around the campus like a qualified tour guide. They love our mamaks yo :).

Discovered many interesting things today; a friend I never knew I could share so much similar interests with, a validation that my decision two months ago was something very right and that I'm still a long way more to where I wish to be. And I still surprise myself with things I do when I don't think too much about it. Hmm.


3. Quality of life is determined by how you deal with your 
moments, not which moments happen and which don't.
To encounter an undesirable situation and work with it willingly is the mark of a wise and happy person.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/9-mind-blowing-epiphanies-that-turned-my-world-upside-down/#ApDkAJzUs7vSoxdJ.99 


Check out this article is you're free. Lovely weekend, amigos! :D

Promises.

This is a random one before I doze off. I thought of how people say they would do something and in a week or so, they have completely forgotten about it. I believe I'm guilty of it as well. How easily distracted are we, I wonder. VERY. Especially with this thing you're staring at right now. You literally have access to millions and billions and more stuffs, which most of it you don't really need at all. But without it too, you drift away as different people or things come along and eventually get into your imaginary space. There's always something that is constantly there at the back of our heads.

The point is, promises are not restricted to something you propose with the word 'I promise' in it. A simple verbal 'okay' can easily be considered as an unwritten promise to another or yourself. It somehow overlaps with responsibilities and assurance I think. I guess procrastination is still the biggest threat to most of us, in getting things done, thoughts expressed, feelings conveyed, assignments done, appointments made, people confronted, water drunk, dog fed, toilet bowl cleaned, tweet twitted and the list goes on. IdontknowwhatImsayinganymore. Distraction, the bigger culprit.

Anyways, Pharmcal test tomorrow and meeting the interns from South Africa in the evening. :)

It scares me that it's coming to the end of the eleventh month already so soon. But the good thing is that Christmas is nearing. Are you as excited as I am? It's always been one of the most exciting time of the year for me. The family going on a get-away for a while and just be together and selfishly enjoy each other's company. And friends :D. And Santa.

I'm not busy, I'm just distracting myself. Fisheyeballs. Economic views. Curly arrows. Directions. RAwR. So we know both worlds. Asleep yet? Do Something Good. Rumah Hope. JFK. Handshake with Deputy Higher Education Minister. *Butt bump*. Frisbee. Gym. Chlorophyll. E.coli. What's for lunch? Propolis. Emails. Spiderman drinking milk. Random random. Kay tata :). 

No.

People like them are so important, because they are the walking evidences who give us hope. Because of them, the belief of true, long-lasting friendships exist till this day. They show us that skin colours and cultural differences are nothing but excuses of the weaker ones. And they teach us that nothing is impossible. You can be handicapped but you are not underprivileged.

"A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later." -Stanley Kubrick

Uncanny.

I always have this weird assumptions when good and bad things happen. Bad things, I must have done something wrong and so this is how I have to learn. Good things, someone is caring for me out there, who are they? I'm just weird and I've come to terms with it. Funny how people around me still stay by my side and go crazy with me. Haha. Cheers.

Stomping The Phantom Brake Pedal

Howdy. Today was indeed a great day. You do things you feel like doing, don't have to overthink anything. You just let the vibrant youthful energy fills you to the brim and without realising, you're smiling with no purpose. Your feet start dancing to the rhythm of the wind. Isn't it beautiful, just laying down on the grassy carpet, staring to the night sky and letting your thoughts take whatever images that come and make a beautiful virtual scrapbook in your head. I've always liked the sky. It gives me comfort every time I needed a lil' peace of mind. It's like there is someone out there who is constantly looking out for me. I know I could trust him, I know he's always thinking of me like how I think of him, I know he'll wish for the best for me in whatever I do. I loved him then, I love him now and I'll continue loving him. "Because after all, you never really stopped loving someone." The best part of all, we do not even have to be in the same time dimension. Cause we believe that distance and time are not normal beings' issues. The only thing that matters are the characters who are acting out the play - us.

"You can do whatever you want that makes you happy," she said. "Because you are a big man now. Nobody can stop you. But please know by heart that, this is your story. You decide what you want to tell your children, your grandchildren next time and how you want them to perceive you as a person. It still holds true that nobody is perfect but everybody has a living conscience. You do not just let them go to waste. If it was not good that you've done, then it must be the other way round. The world is always in equilibrium and so are you. What you think is true now might not be in the next couple of days. In times of struggle, just say those words. Whatever word that eases the aching network of tissues even if it is a name you have been trying to forget for years. Anything, my love."

Good night and good day! :)

Take me as your servant

Take me as your weapon

Take me as your courage

Tangled

Hey there. This will be a really whiny post, just stuffs I need to spit out and flush away. Kay I know it's the holiday, everybody's jolly cause they finally get to reunite with their families or finally we get to have a break from all the boring lectures and whatnot but really, I don't feel it at all. Today has been quite depressing. Facing the screen the whole day, the same MS Word document opened the entire day, don't know what to type, no one to talk to. Okay not no one, but it's like I'm waiting for something to happen. It's just stupid. I really need help to untangle these wires in my head. But I know it has to come from within me, no other ways. And attending the talk on Thursday kinda made the tangles more convoluted and tighter than ever. Knowing yourself too well is not always a good idea. It scares the shyt out of me really. Too much to take in. And I'm not the type of person who will just grab the first person I see and spill everything out to them. I analyse. I reflect and think of things on my own and I try freakin' hard to come out with a solution. I don't show what I feel, I just can't, I don't want to. That's how I make things worse than they already are for myself cause people keep coming and throwing everything at me and I'm there, accepting and swallowing and digesting. Most of the times, it does help distract myself from my own matters and also, to be grateful as I realise what I'm facing is just a tiny bit from the battles others are going through. It's always easier to see things when they're outside of you cause you get to see them from many different perspectives. Then there's another crappy situation when you lose your only current trustworthy channel whom you empty yourself to at the end of every eventful day. And I'm now replaying Kuch kuch hota hai's video thanks to Jana. Haha they're just super funny. Oh yea, finally watched Angels and Airwaves' Love The Movie. Almost fell asleep at the beginning but the message is really meaningful. Watch it especially if you've ever dreamt of becoming an astronaut.

Wow just realised it's one already. Shall wake up to a better day tomorrow. Goodnight and don't get bitten by the rainy day emo bugs. Tata. :)

Sugar & Honey

Happy November! Two more months and it's gonna be the end of this very memorable year. For some reasons, I'm just looking forward to celebrating Christmas and New Year. I like the feeling of being around family and friends. And it's not easy to have everybody gather together any more with so many commitments on our plates as we grow up. And it's nice to see the crowd grow bigger too with cousins bringing along their special someones for dinner. Okay, how did I even get into this topic. And I'm lost for words again.

Gonna rest early for tomorrow I'll be going for my pharmacy placement in Kajang. Hope to have a great time. Just wanna say that no matter how bad things get, there will always be a brighter day ahead. And it feels so good sharing with someone who is just like you. Hope to stay back more often and have dinner or just sit and talk all night like we used to, seriously. Me not driving is indeed quite troublesome as I have to be dependent on others and I feel bad having to say goodbye so soon every single time to them.

Most of the time, I don't do what I wanted to because I am afraid of changes and disappointments. I can survive better being thrown into the sea without warnings but it is extremely difficult for me to jump into a lake voluntarily. I am aware of who I am and what I want to become. And I really hope I have enough will power and courage to do this, for myself. I have to stop thinking and doing so much for others unnecessarily. Like Zee said, "Overdoing anything is bad." I truly appreciate the people who cares so much for me, I don't even know if I deserve this. They are the ones who made uni life so vibrant and joyful. A bunch of different personalities from different corners of the country sitting together, eating, laughing, teasing, gossiping, cracking jokes, reminiscing awkward incidents. Like that day, Sarah did my 'Catwoman' make-up for Halloween. She's just awesome I must say. And Jillian too, she offered me her cat ears when she heard about the event I'm attending. God, thank you. :)

Great weekend, amigos. Find fun in miserable times and you'll never live another day of mud face. XD