Gentle like a butterfly's wings

The people you never hear from, are the ones you yearn for the most.

Never let the ones close to you go unnoticed, taken for granted and feel underappreciated. Times and again, I can't help but notice the tendency in people to reconnect or reconcile before a farewell. Is it the potential of permanent absence that sprouts that tinge of regret and urgency in us hence, we feel somewhat obligated to take that uncomfortable step out of our comfort zone. Or is it our not-so-little egoistic self hindering us from being vulnerable and kind all this while.

It is true that the impact of losses weighs more than the pleasure from the same magnitude of gains.

When facing gains, we are risk-averse creatures, almost always opting the sure option rather than the pain of going through the gamble to grab the grand prize. How lowly we value ourselves, our self-esteem, our tenacity to overcome challenges. Perhaps, we have conformed too much to the perception of what the society considers as 'normal'. Centuries ago, interaction between opposite sexes is a taboo and punishable in some communities. Yet today, we are labelled as old-fashioned and conservative for such behaviours. Those who claims to be updated with the current issues and trends, are they really so?

The true north depends on which perspective you're describing it from.

In preparing for my exchange presentation about Malaysia, I can't help but feel overly dependent on the internet to source for information which I am skeptical about. As much as we stand for the benefits technology has endow us, let's not forget what it has replaced in exchange for convenience and access to abundance of information which we may or may not utilise in the first place. I wish to speak the truth but something tells me that the truth doesn't stand true eternally.

Spring, I'm coming!

It has been two weeks since the final paper of my university life. Results is out and with lots of mercy I believe, I'm set to graduate this November! Funny how five years have passed in this university with these people. To someone I used to know: I kept my promise, I finished my studies. Lol. It's true that it's easier in hindsight. I guess there's no need to overthink things sometimes, just jump into it. Like how I jumped in Perhentian, when I realised how scary and possibly life-threatening it was, I was already in mid-air, no turning back. However, when I hit the water and *splash*, it was all so worth it.

What's next is super exciting. For three years I have been attempting to go for an exchange. First, Taiwan then Kyrgyzstan. Third time's a charm it is. Czech Republic is going to be awesome! I just can't wait to meet the students, host families and locals. Really excited to share about my country, cultures and perspective as well. If you have hosted foreign friends in your own country, you would realise that no one country is perfect and at many points, you'd be grateful to be where you are. You know so much about this place, you know how to get somewhere without the help of the GPS, you know where to go to satisfy your food cravings, you see familiar faces yet there's still so much mystery yet to be uncovered. You seek a deeper kind of meaning and relationship instead of all-pretty-and-nice things which merely impress on the surface.

I wish to make this soil I grew up on a better place. I honestly do. But I first need to see more, know better and understand deeply. Phases of growth, I'm getting back on track. The good, the bad, the unexpected, I will embrace them all with grace, faith, wisdom and strength.

Perfect blue. All smiles. Best memories.

Blazing red

This season, this final sprint. We'll conquer it like warriors with dozens of years of battling experience up our sleeves. Beneath them smiles and composed statures, we contend with agony for our faiths. May we all win in our own ways.

Two feets standing on a principle

Two hands longing for each other's warmth

Cold smoke seeping out of colder throats

Darkness falling, leaves nowhere to go

Still - Daughter