Spring, I'm coming!

It has been two weeks since the final paper of my university life. Results is out and with lots of mercy I believe, I'm set to graduate this November! Funny how five years have passed in this university with these people. To someone I used to know: I kept my promise, I finished my studies. Lol. It's true that it's easier in hindsight. I guess there's no need to overthink things sometimes, just jump into it. Like how I jumped in Perhentian, when I realised how scary and possibly life-threatening it was, I was already in mid-air, no turning back. However, when I hit the water and *splash*, it was all so worth it.

What's next is super exciting. For three years I have been attempting to go for an exchange. First, Taiwan then Kyrgyzstan. Third time's a charm it is. Czech Republic is going to be awesome! I just can't wait to meet the students, host families and locals. Really excited to share about my country, cultures and perspective as well. If you have hosted foreign friends in your own country, you would realise that no one country is perfect and at many points, you'd be grateful to be where you are. You know so much about this place, you know how to get somewhere without the help of the GPS, you know where to go to satisfy your food cravings, you see familiar faces yet there's still so much mystery yet to be uncovered. You seek a deeper kind of meaning and relationship instead of all-pretty-and-nice things which merely impress on the surface.

I wish to make this soil I grew up on a better place. I honestly do. But I first need to see more, know better and understand deeply. Phases of growth, I'm getting back on track. The good, the bad, the unexpected, I will embrace them all with grace, faith, wisdom and strength.

Perfect blue. All smiles. Best memories.

Shine On

No words could describe it. All the photos and hype is still ongoing on Facebook. And looking at the photos only brings back deep emotions. It's funny how you could connect with so many people in such a short period of time. We came as strangers and parted as family. I guess that says it all. 

Throughout these awesome six golden days, I've learned so much about myself through others, and others through working together as a team. Being transparent about yourself is not an easy thing to do. You need to have immense trust in the people who's listening to it. I'm very glad to say that I did not regret it at all. 'Cause the consequence after that is too overwhelming. I experience tremendous changes immediately in those aspects pointed out and I really really appreciate it and want to do the same for others as well. This is the life-changing experience that I've been hearing for so long. I get it now.

One of the very beautiful and admirable thing about AIESECers is that we all acknowledge our weaknesses and we try to improve ourselves. And we know that the best way to do that is through others. I'm often amazed when I get feedbacks that I would probably never be able to think of. It's like they get what you're going through, what you need, what you want. We're all hungry and foolish people so to say. :)

I'm really thankful to have been to MyLDS 2013, themed Impact Now. I don't know if I've impacted anyone but I really want to thank my dear Chief Delegate, Winnie, my team, Tiger who's a mixture of Malaysians, Egyptian, Chinese, Hong Kong-ian and Paskistani, my group faci, Andy from Taiwan, Hong Kong delegates like Michael and Helen who I met on the first day, Jessy from Madagascar, all OCs, MCs and facis and everybody whom I've communicated with. They've all contributed to my awesome experience I'll never forget. ♥

2-3 hours of sleep a day and still we're so energetic.

Sugarcubes and souvenirs.

 Happy February you beautiful people! :D

Exceptional

It was amazing. Been fed with lots of cocktail hot dogs, long dogs, burnt chicken and yummy marshmallows. Hee. :D

Most beautiful and lovable people I couldn't possibly ask for. ♥

Little Things

It's been a hectic but fun-packed week last week. Kudos to the OC of the School of Pharmacy Sports Day 2012 for pulling off such an awesome one within the span of mere two weeks. It was really well-executed and everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves. Jillian and I were the official photographers of the day but I ditched my camera every now and then to have fun myself. Came off fifth for the 1km run and my team, Team Orange Juice! championed the dodgeball competition. Of course, everything comes with a cost; bruised my knees badly and gave my muscles a humongous shock. Woke up the next morning with the expected entire body ache and had the time of our lives at the AIESEC LEAD Conference. Extremely awesome, inspiring and funny speakers. One of them looks and speaks like Russel Peters. :)

It's a really joyful feeling spending time you don't usually have doing things as simple as just talk and laugh in the library as if there's no one around. It's rare to come by someone whom you could jump straight to comfortable zone and just surprise them to the core. It's amazing how simple food like the food court's could give you such great contentment. It's beautiful how two people could sit over nothing and share a good time together (okay one had a sandwich, a cookie, a drink and a very hungry tummy and the other, lots of stories and time to kill intentionally) Lol. I've known them for a year now. If it wasn't for them, everything wouldn't have been as it is now. I know I'm blessed and cared for dearly when I had to postpone invitations or jot down 'dates' scheduled for weeks ahead. :D. Owh it's the winter solstice festival tomorrow. Thought of the time I packed them to uni last year and Cat had so much. Haha. 

Focus on what you have right now especially the little things, you'll realise that you're a very very spoilt kid. ;)

This is our family. The SOP family.

Aren't we nerdy? :D

You're the reason behind those smiles.

Howdy amigos. What better ways to welcome the weekend than doing something meaningful away from your thick heavy books and stressful timetable. Went for can-washing yesterday right after lecture with the whole gang from the class. Although it was raining, nobody complained but worked so diligently trying to get the work done as swiftly as possible. It's such an amazing feeling to obtain such contentment from doing something as simple as washing cans with your fellow friends in the cold drizzle. After that, attended a super last minute potluck party at the twin's apartment. Though we had simple, not-so-fancy food and take-away's but everybody enjoyed with endless joy in the company of awesome people. Playing Mafia was probably the biggest mistake for some of them especially Jordan. Haha face problem betul the whole night.

Today, woke up earlier than usual for the Educating children in Rural Areas (E.RA) Project in Pahang. It was an initiative by one of the groups in LEAD Programme in collaboration with the Reading Bus organisation. I've always wanted to do this, going to the rural areas, reaching out in whatever ways I could to help the aborigines. As you would've imagined it to be, twas a dismal sight with shortages in so many aspects. The first thing I saw when I stepped out of the four-wheel-drive was a pair of miniature slippers on the uneven yellow soil. I broke into a crooked smile before entering the hall where the children were. There were about 50 to 60 of them and they looked so innocent and ignorant of the lives they have yet to know exist if they would only reach their hands out to it. Or if they only knew it existed. It's 'heavy' to imagine myself being in their shoes and imagine not being who I am and where I am right now.

So we started off with a short ice-breaker. Then, it was free reading session. The kids were allowed to come up to the shelf and pick whatever books they like. You can clearly see there was a relatively big gap between the ones who are able to follow and the younger ones who are merely pushed by the current. Next, we distributed the new books on 'Bugs' and narrated it to them and they repeated after us. I never taught I would ever had the chance to do this, seriously. I went around trying to converse with them but obviously, their strength is in the Malay language. So I took a different approach and we did manage to understand each other. I saw their smiles when I high-fived them. Irreplaceable. And Pastor Charlie was really awesome in teaching the kids and getting them to be responsive and interactive. He shared a little about himself in the car, he's been doing this for 30 years now. It's just amazing.

It's been a really eye-opening experience. What I've realised and share would never be the same if you do not live it yourself for real. One thing for sure is that, if we have never seen something, we wouldn't have the desire for it. If you do not open yourself to the crazy amount of opportunities out there, you wouldn't know what suits you best or in the first place, what you would even have to ponder upon. It's pointless to be afraid, all you have to keep in mind is the precautions in case things go bad, which should be nothing surprising. I appreciate the love and care from everyone around me and I love you too very much.

Keep trying unless you're completely paralysed! Good day. :D

Rainbow after the rain.

My eye lids are like the black clouds, heavy with load but I want to remember today. As usual, I woke up to the melody of Boston and fall back for ten minutes. Wasn't expecting much out of today, was contemplating to be a good or bad student. It's like I didn't have anything to look forward to until Friday. Thankfully I did the right thing and stayed till the end. If it was me last time, I would have thought of the activities as lame and a mere waste of time but I actually thought it was quite enjoyable and was a good opportunity to get to know my potential classmates. What harm could it cause me anyway.

So what happened was I showed them how physically tough I could be. Haha I don't know, twas fun just fooling around and laughing uncontrollably like that. That three hours were joyfully spent with playing Charades, the running while acting game, drinking 1.5 litres of diluted apple cider vinegar and jumping with balloons between our legs and under our armpits. The most surprising thing was our group won first prize. The evening got better when I met up with a few former classmates in foundation and had a great sharing session with the elegant Farah Yunos. Thank you so much for the beautiful bracelet, it was a lovely surprise and very thoughtful gift, by the lake :D. Before that, I dropped my just-collected ID card and a lady came searching for me in the pc lab. Thank goodness.

It was a blessed day for me indeed. LLDS this Friday, have not packed a single thing. Long day ahead. Good day amigos!

Random photos in the cam. Sorry if it hurts ;P

Sometimes you only need one minute to make a change.

I think I like today, I think it's good.

Howdyyy. Gosh, it's been so long, hasn't it. Glad my lappy's back from the hospital after three whole weeks but I kinda got rusty. Typing like a tortoise. And new software. Good thing I backup-ed everything so I didn't have to redownload everything but still, I messed up stuffs. Oh well. Things like this, you'll never know when it'll strike you. It was fine all the while but suddenly that Sunday morning I wanted to use it but it refused to start. Numbers and codes were all I saw on the black screen for hours. Bummer. Guess me and tech gadgets can never be friends. :)

So two weeks ago, god uncle rang up and the next day at 6am, all of us were all packed and headed for Kuala Gandah, Pahang. We're seriously used to this already. The main attraction there was the elephants. It's opened free to the public and we got to feed, ride and bathe with the elephants. What a joy. But we didn't get ourselves wet though, for a very good reason; the elephant peed and pooped into the very same river you're splashing and soaking in. Besides that, we also went to the nearby Deer Park. Daymmm this was  the highlight I swear. I got to feed the deers and rabbits, cuddle a baby civet or musang and above all, carried a snake on my shoulders. I honestly didn't feel anything, I thought it was really cool. These experiences have made me realised that there are too many things out there that I've not explored and tried. Hope I'll have the chance to do as many crazy stuffs as I can before I get old and fragile and maybe senile. Haha.

The week before, another unexpected storm hit the family but thank god, this time was just a warning sign. You know, when family gets into trouble, the best support they could get is from family. I saw the tension and everything but I don't know. I guess I'm still too naive for the real deal. Sometimes people are funny, it looks like A to your eyes but hears like B and then the truth, C starts to surface from beneath, but there's another truth, D. In the end, nothing is resolved cause it goes nowhere. I used to shove aside matters that I dislike, unhappy subjects, arguments. Ignoring like it was just a bad play and wake up to a normal day. The scariest part is, it's not like I don't know anything, I knew everything. And in my dreams, I saw the beautiful side of it. Everything just plays in front of me and it all has a different ending. Some are just replays but some, they're remakes. Weird I know.

Alright it's getting late. Shall hit the sack and rock tomorrow's whatever I'm going for. Lol. Haha today I baked some raisin rolls and wholemeal loaf. Dad said I could open a bakery (flutters) but I will go bankrupt in no time looking at the amount of raisins I used. I ain't no business minded person. Never was. And my future bakery, I'll name it 'Family Bakery'. Tata :D.

The many beautiful creatures I met.

Awesomeness.

Do not let them die.

Ex-MGSians gathering.

Windmill & Neway. ♥

Patatas

Something's not right and really weird with moi today. My fingernails are the colour of M&M's. Seriously, and it's darn distracting during quiz today according to Calista. Haha. And an Iranian friend called me Canny the Cute :/. And I was sitting under the umbrella thingy and a hot girl sat beside me and a friend asked if she's my friend. In the bus, someone said hi to me like I'm her close friend for years. So nice :). 

So yes, today was weird but I think I like it. Where you just go with the flow, shed down all paranoia and ego and do whatever your heart tells you to. The feeling you get after that is priceless, trust me.  Not everything has to go as planned or with deep mind-crushing thoughts. It's more exciting like that and it gives more contentment. And most importantly, it's honest and sincere from your heart. I love you God =). 

I can't wait for this weekend! :D

The only korean dude I find attractive. He's a dude for god's sake. HAHA.

Farah! She's a star now ;)

No wonder she asked for the picture the other day. Hmm. 

May you blossom to the fullest in spring

And I'll still see you on winter nights

Small Bump

Ever listened to a song millions of time to find out what was the true message behind it? Well I did. At first, I thought twas about an 'imaginary' baby he never had. I thought wow, this dude is something to write about something so darn deep. And one day, being me, I overthink and I thought maybe it's more than that. Maybe it was about a miscarriage. So little detail was given at the end of the song, it must be something more. So yea, me addicted to the song very muchie :).

This past one week has been quite a ride downhill. New timetable. Monday, we had to urinate into the beaker and measure it for a few times for the urine output experiment. Twas weird cause people might be thinking "I know what you're gonna do inside there with those apparatus and you're disgusting." Haha anyways, we had fun. There were people complimenting each other, Not bad uh, you can pee a lot; You got big bladder!; You pee so much uh, wah. So hilarious.

Tuesday, we made soap. Seriously almost fell asleep while stirring. Most boring experiment ever. And instead of powder soap, Kam and I got jelly soap. Haha. The funniest part was when the new demonstrator just finished explaining, Kam and I turned to each other and asked, "So, do what now?". Wednesday, we shot the advertisement for our charcoal toothpaste. Can't wait to see the outcome :D. Thursday, slept over at Farah's house. All of us cooked dinner together and watched A Crazy Little Thing Called Love. So awesomeee. The guy in it is so cute and it was one of the sweetest love story I've ever seen. Yesterday, class ended at 9am for us. Had a lovely time talking over Baskin Robbins and walking around pyramid.

In two more months, we'll all separate and go in different directions and be somebody great. Everybody has a part of their lives that they don't want to talk about. Not that they intentionally hide it but it was just not something they themselves are proud of. And like it or not, we're all judgemental. Lots of thinking the past few days, made decisions I'm unsure about but one thing for sure, I wish to change further in some ways. It's something I hope will happen some time ago but never had the courage to.

Moo cha chas. :)

You Are More

Hello amigos. I guess this will be my last post of the year. Time flies, yes it does. You're gonna miss stuffs from the past but as life goes on, better stuffs happen and you only wish it gets better and better.

Well, the first half of the year was pretty..it was a handful but nothing much at the same time. Spent most of the time at home thinking and going on vacations with family. And thank god I took up a part time job for a while. It was not the easiest six months but I've really learnt a lot from it.

Going to Taylor's was not the easiest decision I've made too. I felt like a jerk, for some reason, no matter which decision I made but I had to do what I had to do. I do admit I wasn't the friendliest girl and people were actually scared to approach me. It sucks, coming out of your comfort zone. Back in high school, you know everybody there and you have friends you can turn to anytime. It just wasn't easy to open up and live in the same 'house' with 6 new friends all of the sudden after 6 whole months of living in darkness. And then, my cousin went to a better place.

Come to third month of college, things got a lot better with all the group work and projects we have to go through. All that had definitely pulled us closer and made us understand each other very much deeper. I've got awesome classmates, that's for sure. Towards the end of the sem, I need not say, it was THE best time I've ever had in college. Dinners and late night walks, going high studying calculus, doing mock exam paper while squatting on the chair, stalking each other when we're bored, library camping for 8 hours straight.. 

The holiday was great. After finals, went to Malacca for kinda a "JPA gang trip". We planned this like two months back in the bus on our way to Subang Parade. Great experience. Then the supposedly birthday-surprise-party. Thank you guys. And Mandy invited me to spend the Christmas with her and her family in the highland. It was amazing. Super cold Idontknowhowthatgirlsurvive but yea, lots of fun. 

So yea, it was a year. Shockalingam year.

I have changed. I'm not afraid to say it. I did. And I will keep on changing whether the universe like it or not. Fatter, shorter, girlier, chubbier, crazier, louder, whatever it is as long as I stay true to myself. My new year's resolutions, simple stuffs but hard to make it a habit. :) May we all rejoice and welcome the new year will lots of love and smiles. Happy 2012 :D.

Thailand.

Genting.

Port Dickson.

Sara's.

Since orientation, we suffered together haha.

Good old buddies.

Rocket mates.

Got wet in the rain for McD. All worth it.

The baby we will always call Mamypoko.

Durian ice-cream cake on mum's birthday. Unforgettable.

Bon Odori.

MX. A gift.

We used to argue but we eventually became friends.

Lots of freedom.

Lots of fun.

Lots of hard work.

Lots of memories.

Happy year!

Cherished

24th December 2011

Happy birthday to my brother!

I will remember today for a very very long time. I really like today, celebrating at home rather than the usual mall-outing. Simple. Had dinner with grandparents just now. Yesterday night was funny, I can't get myself to sleep because I was scared somebody might appear at my gate at sharp 12 because of Pravin and my dear brothers. "Wear nicer a bit to bed tonight ah". What was that for..ish haha.

Anyway, today the gang came over and we talked, took photos, had lunch at Uncle Choon, sang song, ate cake(The Red Velvet Cake) and played Wii. It was fun. Feels so at home not having to bother where we are, what we do. I've never typed so many 'thank you's in a day but it's okay, cause every one of them made me smile. Some were really funny and some, I felt really happy just receiving them. And conversations with people I hardly get the chance to catch up with, all of the sudden they appeared and we had a good laugh reminiscing the past. Now, a lil' bit on those who gave my brother and I a heartwarming birthday gathering.

Rachel, thank you for the Bob's Machine! I never expected you to really make our creation one step closer to reality. It's amazing, I look hot with those sexy legs in there :). And yes, we will always be the awesomest mother-son pair FOREVER. Sorry I'm so mixed up with the Rajis and Rajims, why must you use such complicated words. Haha stay awesome always. ♥

Yen Yen, thank you loads for the wonderful Lilo & Stitch tumbler and the t-shirt. "Thanks for the memories all these years". Short yet means so much. Thank you too, for being there through all those crazy ups and downs. ♥

Geok San, thank you for the pretty little card and book. Will read it in the car during my journey to Johore. Although we've not been talking nor seeing each other much this year, I know you're always there looking after me :). You're one beautiful person, may God bless you and guide you through thick and thin too. Btw, your handwriting changed, so doctor-like now. ♥

Next, Siew Li aka Mamypoko. Me, Beyonce's moves? Haha I'm always sexy, Indian's natural curves. You are the longest friend I've ever known, since standard one. Those were the days.. I love you and best wishes to you, my friend. ♥

Kia Hooi, Vi Vian, Siew Ern, Vino, Wei Wei, Deena, thanks a lot for the wishes. Amazing people. May God bless you all and wish you all a great year ahead with all your loved ones. ♥

Bacardi

The last couple of weeks were indeed the most memorable ones for me. In such short period of time, we all got so close together and shared so much of good times. It all happened when Farah insisted on me staying back with them after the Moral paper. Crazy people, crazy conversations by the lakeside past midnight, crazy stuffs they do to scare us. Haha just insane. Well, we shall reunite and continue doing what we do best after the 3 weeks break. :)

The shinies in black and white :D

Sometimes you don't need much

All you need is noise

Sometimes it isn't loneliness you're feeling

It's just the heavy feeling

It's golden.