You Are More

Hello amigos. I guess this will be my last post of the year. Time flies, yes it does. You're gonna miss stuffs from the past but as life goes on, better stuffs happen and you only wish it gets better and better.

Well, the first half of the year was pretty..it was a handful but nothing much at the same time. Spent most of the time at home thinking and going on vacations with family. And thank god I took up a part time job for a while. It was not the easiest six months but I've really learnt a lot from it.

Going to Taylor's was not the easiest decision I've made too. I felt like a jerk, for some reason, no matter which decision I made but I had to do what I had to do. I do admit I wasn't the friendliest girl and people were actually scared to approach me. It sucks, coming out of your comfort zone. Back in high school, you know everybody there and you have friends you can turn to anytime. It just wasn't easy to open up and live in the same 'house' with 6 new friends all of the sudden after 6 whole months of living in darkness. And then, my cousin went to a better place.

Come to third month of college, things got a lot better with all the group work and projects we have to go through. All that had definitely pulled us closer and made us understand each other very much deeper. I've got awesome classmates, that's for sure. Towards the end of the sem, I need not say, it was THE best time I've ever had in college. Dinners and late night walks, going high studying calculus, doing mock exam paper while squatting on the chair, stalking each other when we're bored, library camping for 8 hours straight.. 

The holiday was great. After finals, went to Malacca for kinda a "JPA gang trip". We planned this like two months back in the bus on our way to Subang Parade. Great experience. Then the supposedly birthday-surprise-party. Thank you guys. And Mandy invited me to spend the Christmas with her and her family in the highland. It was amazing. Super cold Idontknowhowthatgirlsurvive but yea, lots of fun. 

So yea, it was a year. Shockalingam year.

I have changed. I'm not afraid to say it. I did. And I will keep on changing whether the universe like it or not. Fatter, shorter, girlier, chubbier, crazier, louder, whatever it is as long as I stay true to myself. My new year's resolutions, simple stuffs but hard to make it a habit. :) May we all rejoice and welcome the new year will lots of love and smiles. Happy 2012 :D.

Thailand.

Genting.

Port Dickson.

Sara's.

Since orientation, we suffered together haha.

Good old buddies.

Rocket mates.

Got wet in the rain for McD. All worth it.

The baby we will always call Mamypoko.

Durian ice-cream cake on mum's birthday. Unforgettable.

Bon Odori.

MX. A gift.

We used to argue but we eventually became friends.

Lots of freedom.

Lots of fun.

Lots of hard work.

Lots of memories.

Happy year!

One of those nights

What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts

Belief and faith are two different things

With good things come not so good ones as well. What if you found out the darkest secret of someone you love so much and you have used up your birthday wish. What if you came across a post for you after exactly two years and look at it and still smile as though you were still living in that glorious moment. What if you had overheard a huge argument with all sorts of colourful words and the next day, you see them both together like nothing happened. What if someone still loves you but decided it will not happen. What if..

The night is getting weirder. I really do not want to believe what I saw today. 

I really wish I know what to do in every situation. There's no one you could always turn to for every question you want an answer for because right and wrong is too vague to be distinguished. No one completely completes another. It's just a belief you make yourself believe to have faith in the faith the other person has in you. I give real good advices sometimes, but I get lost in them sometimes too. It's like something made me say that or it was just..something. Wish I could have a few sips and sleep really well tonight. 

Have a Merry X'mas!
Santa Claus do exist :)

You said everything's gonna be alright,

But nothing seems like what you've promised.

Cherished

24th December 2011

Happy birthday to my brother!

I will remember today for a very very long time. I really like today, celebrating at home rather than the usual mall-outing. Simple. Had dinner with grandparents just now. Yesterday night was funny, I can't get myself to sleep because I was scared somebody might appear at my gate at sharp 12 because of Pravin and my dear brothers. "Wear nicer a bit to bed tonight ah". What was that for..ish haha.

Anyway, today the gang came over and we talked, took photos, had lunch at Uncle Choon, sang song, ate cake(The Red Velvet Cake) and played Wii. It was fun. Feels so at home not having to bother where we are, what we do. I've never typed so many 'thank you's in a day but it's okay, cause every one of them made me smile. Some were really funny and some, I felt really happy just receiving them. And conversations with people I hardly get the chance to catch up with, all of the sudden they appeared and we had a good laugh reminiscing the past. Now, a lil' bit on those who gave my brother and I a heartwarming birthday gathering.

Rachel, thank you for the Bob's Machine! I never expected you to really make our creation one step closer to reality. It's amazing, I look hot with those sexy legs in there :). And yes, we will always be the awesomest mother-son pair FOREVER. Sorry I'm so mixed up with the Rajis and Rajims, why must you use such complicated words. Haha stay awesome always. ♥

Yen Yen, thank you loads for the wonderful Lilo & Stitch tumbler and the t-shirt. "Thanks for the memories all these years". Short yet means so much. Thank you too, for being there through all those crazy ups and downs. ♥

Geok San, thank you for the pretty little card and book. Will read it in the car during my journey to Johore. Although we've not been talking nor seeing each other much this year, I know you're always there looking after me :). You're one beautiful person, may God bless you and guide you through thick and thin too. Btw, your handwriting changed, so doctor-like now. ♥

Next, Siew Li aka Mamypoko. Me, Beyonce's moves? Haha I'm always sexy, Indian's natural curves. You are the longest friend I've ever known, since standard one. Those were the days.. I love you and best wishes to you, my friend. ♥

Kia Hooi, Vi Vian, Siew Ern, Vino, Wei Wei, Deena, thanks a lot for the wishes. Amazing people. May God bless you all and wish you all a great year ahead with all your loved ones. ♥

YOU!

I am cold, cocky, unfriendly and everything you wouldn't want in a friend when you first see me in standard three. I don't easily trust people hence, I only mix with the same gang of friends whom I've known for years and comfortable with. I can forgive people but it's hard for me to forget the hurtful stuffs that they do to me. I am actually quite a sensitive person. Sometimes, I take criticism very personally and that is only because it is from someone I've known for so long and more importantly, trust. Yes, I'm very loyal in friendships. Don't you dare hurt my friends because I will get you if you do and I will make sure you regret it for the rest of your life. I am always the peacemaker and that's because I hate seeing my friends break apart. What else, I swear. I practically swear the moment I wake up, shower, have my breakfast, go to school, etc. but that's just in my heart. Only when I get really annoyed that I let it slip out of my mouth. And I have a brother, oh don't get me started about him. He can be the silliest person on earth who does everything I ask but he is also the nicest brother I could ever wished for. And of course, I'm the nicest, awesomest sister that sometimes I think he might not even deserve.

When you start to know me, you might see me as a cheerful, optimistic girl who's really strong and unbreakable inside. But guess what, I am so fragile the slightest thing can make me lose all hope in the world. I appear happy most of the time because I don't want people to know my weaknesses and step on me. I can also be 'quite' bossy and overly in-charged over things at times in the sense I want things my way and only my way. As most of my friends already knew, I will own a mansion next time and the first thing that I will do is assign my out-of-jail-mum as my Head of Maids and her six twins under her. I have big ambitions, big dreams but all that would be meaningless without my dear friends to share it with me. If I die, I'll die a monkey king/president/prime minister/king/Rajah, not just some worthless door-step son who's unlucky enough to be picked up by a nun who has never breastfed me or any of my siblings.


Despite all the flaws, my friends think I'm awesome and one of them easily agreed to type up a blog post specially for me to tell the world how awesome I am. How awesome am I right? No word can ever describe my awesomeness. I am beyond awesome. Seriously, I'm not being proud but awesome is too 'low' for me. I suit words like "Mahagundeawesomegilababibetulbetulawesome". Okay, the point is, I AM AWESOME. :D

This blog post is (obviously) about Rachel Saw a.k.a. Rajah. *POOI*
Thousands of apologies for any inaccuracy and offensive remark. Patik hanyalah hamba yang menurut perintah tuanku yang kurang munasabah. Hee. Tata.

I feel blessed

I think I'm missing those two fellas already :).

God, I'm smiling. I'm smiling that life has been simple yet so full of contentment in it's sheer simplicity. I could really live a life like this for the rest of my life, only a place far from the city's clouds. I think I know what I want to do but there are certain things that I need to prepare myself with in case the plan backfires and I would need to take on extra roles. Yeah, superwoman.

THE day is nearing, I don't feel the excitement at all. It's actually kind of dreadful. I only wish that that day could be like every other day, me doing normal stuffs, drinking and eating normal every day food, talking about normal stuffs, sms at a normal rate, dress up in normal house clothes. Yea, stuffs like that. I hate it when you intentionally plan up special stuffs on special occasions and things end up the other way round and for the rest of the coming few years, you'll be reminded of it on that supposedly-special day. Justsaying.

Anyways, it's my brother's birthday too and it's Christmas's eve! :D. I'm very excited for Christmas and the New Year's Eve. This year we'll be counting down in Johore and the new year will be a double celebration. Awesome day to have your wedding no? ♥. 

Happy Bola-bola festival. I just put on 1.5kg having dinner in grand's place. Seriously heaven. 

I love you

I love you so much

I feel like ripping out your heart

And keep it in my pocket close to mine

So random :P

Love Letters

Just watched A Walk to Remember. It was BEAUTIFUL. I wanted to watch it like since dunno-when when everybody was talking about it in school. Kept tearing towards the end. I mean who wouldn't. Movies like this, must watch with guys. It's cool if they cry :).

Holiday. Holiday. Holiday. The aroma of freshly baked scones, the cow-dung-ish smell of freshly cut grass, the smooth sea breeze caressing across your delicate skin, the almost-annoying birds chirping away at 7am, the quiet mornings where you can hear yourself scream "Hello Sunshine!" as you get up from the bed, the happy feeling as you hop your way into the kitchen before washing up. This is how it feels and it's amazing. :D

So far, I washed the curtains and sofa covers as mum reminded before she left, I made marshmallow which didn't turn out right and chocolate-coated Marie biscuits, just so I can lick my heavily stained chocolate-coated fingers like a jolly girl. This year, I'm gonna do something big. Like really BIG.

I.

AM.

GONNA.

BAKE.

MY.

OWN.

BIRTHDAY.

CAKE!

Serious. I've chosen the recipe. I've got the ingredients. Only thing left is the guts to make it. LMAO. This is worse than taking my driving test, I swear. I hope it's good. Or else, it will be my brother's birthday cake then. Haha. Dinner at grand's place tonight. Moo-cha-chas. Good day. =)

Bacardi

The last couple of weeks were indeed the most memorable ones for me. In such short period of time, we all got so close together and shared so much of good times. It all happened when Farah insisted on me staying back with them after the Moral paper. Crazy people, crazy conversations by the lakeside past midnight, crazy stuffs they do to scare us. Haha just insane. Well, we shall reunite and continue doing what we do best after the 3 weeks break. :)

The shinies in black and white :D

Sometimes you don't need much

All you need is noise

Sometimes it isn't loneliness you're feeling

It's just the heavy feeling

It's golden.

Booze and turkey

English was bad. Very very bad. It was not supposed to be bad. It's the only thing I've spoken since I could speak. Okay, let's just put it aside and work harder for the next and last paper, Bio. But not now :). Bio is at 2pm tomorrow.

Every time you feel like you're about to go all emo and depressed and finish a whole tub of ice-cream, it's bad. It's seriously bad. And you tell yourself, it's okay, this is the last time I'm gonna be like this. Tomorrow, everything's gonna be the same again. It doesn't. Haha, it doesn't. It sucks.

Whatever it is, after tomorrow, there will be a break. May the break heals everything and when we meet again, everything will be just like how we have never met before. You have a great person by your side, cherish it. OhwhatamIcrapping. Alrighty, bio bio bio. Tata world.

Juvenile

I missed the 'Happy December' post. Well, it's not too late to wish Happy December now, is it?

I have been busy lately. Nope, not exactly busy studying but busy having a good time. Really. I've been staying back in college till late night, "studying" for exam. How come I never knew this people from the beginning of the semester. But it's not too late, we still have another semester to go. =)

Sometimes, you wished something never happened because you wished you never had the scar. You wished you never cycled a bicycle and fell to the hard, rough tar road when you were young. You wished you never learnt to swim and almost got drown. You wished growing up wouldn't be so painful. You wished taking advices from your parents would be the easiest thing to do as a teenager. It's ugly and whenever people ask, you had to tell a lie by saying it's nothing. But sooner or later, it wouldn't be a lie anymore. And that's when you start to see beautiful things and smile every minute without needing a reason.

I'm learning every day. And I've always known that books and good grades are not everything. My parents, I love it that they don't order me what to do and they're so so understanding. The least you can do is not raise your voice at them. It's okay if you fall and stumble down the slope all bruised, as long as you've tried your best, they will always welcome you in their warm loving arms. They are the only ones you've got when everything is gone.

Two more papers to go. Then, early Christmas party and Malacca trip with the gangs. CAN'T WAIT. Have a great life, amigos.