Everyone bleeds this way, just the same

Seriously, I was staring in darkness the other day when it was nearing 4am and my eyes were still wide open. I couldn't take it anymore, I said my prayers and the next second, I went to dreamland. Do you know what's the feeling of being unable to feel? A corpse. A walking living corpse creeps up my bed every single night and it slowly takes over my body, my soul and my life. You don't realise the changes that's happening in you until one fine day, someone burst out in front of you. You feel so freaking ashamed and you just feel like digging a hole and hide in there for the rest of your life. But too bad, we're not worms nor crabs to do that. We're God's gift so be like one. Face it. Solve it. Do everything you can so that you don't have regrets. Easy to say huh.. Yeh. When you're really in that situation and the suicidal temptations are all over you, try fighting it. Everyone's pressing you down, no one's there to lend a helping hand for more than two minutes, even if they do, they don't really have the patience because they themselves are going hell of a life inside. It's like that.. That is why we have a pair of legs and a pair of hands to get back up ourselves.

Rooftops off my head

On Tuesday, we did the blood test. It was fun. I was the squeezer haha, because I'm good in getting their blood out of their tiny poor fingers. Vino was the poker because she was merciless and precise. Rachel, the super efficient blood collector and Sze Ying, the calm mixer. We really became experts and even taught the other class people how to do it when teacher's not around. A few days left to taste the feeling of waking up early and going to school. After this, everyone's going to be scattered all over the world and communication becomes scarce. We might be forgotten but it's okay. We'll meet new awesome people and do crazy things, in the good way of course. It's just so vague right now. Everyone's planning ahead already, every one of them has a plan, a workable one. I'm just going to relax and go with the flow. Perhaps there'll be a better plan for me. I'm not scared to bid adieu but the feeling of emptiness that fills the heart after that just really scares me off completely. No one likes to be alone, yeah.

Mars

It all ended in a tragedy without an option.