Killing shots

A crazy week it was. Class tests, Malaysian Studies exam, first part of English finals. I don't usually get headache but thank god it came after everything was over. Three hours of nap and I feel worse. I could barely move and my eyes kept shutting every time I tried to open them. Can't wait for the long long break.

Today is special. Exactly one year it has been. I've never thought that we would ever set eyes onto each other or had the chance to even be together, but I guess it's all fate. This one year, I've got to admit that I was rough, I wasn't careful in my conducts and I broke you once. You have no idea what it cost me to see you broken by someone else when I'm not looking, in mere split second. Nevertheless, you were kind and forgiving, looking past the past with such generous personality. I hope we could go on together for more years to come as a team, for life. :)

It's amazing how people are. One moment you think they're nice and such good companies and the next, you kinda disagree with their behaviours and whatnot. We change super swiftly like the direction of the wind, don't we. There are times when we hope for something different, something to change, someone to realise, someone to care and sometimes, the total opposite. When it does happen right in front of your eyes, it's too surreal you can't swallow it. It's like it's such bad timing you're almost like disgusted by it.

I don't know what's my point but yea, people change. No matter how far you've left your past behind and move on a better, happier person, it will somehow still come back at times when you're most vulnerable. It's easier living with something you've never tried before than the opposite cause when you know how it feels like, you'll always long for more. Then again, life's too short to hold back and not take risks. Let's enjoy life and not worry too much of the consequences, shall we. :)

Boston

Once upon a time, there lived a girl who loves to run. Every day, she runs everywhere, all over her vicinity to help those in need or simply spend time talking and accompanying the lonely. Sometimes, when she isn't in a good emotional state, she still absorbs conversations like a sponge and try squeezing out helpful advice. For her, seeing the happiness in others' eyes is her main source of happiness. One morning, she woke up and she thought to herself that she wants to stop running. She wants something new, something different that could give her the same kind of happiness but in a different, more meaningful form.

She finally realised that, what is the point of her going all out for the people who didn't even appreciate and thank her for what she did. Hence, she stopped running around. She began isolating herself, trying to find her true self and discover what truly makes her happy. Months after months, she still hasn't found it yet. The people who used to use her 'free service' began to worry but did not go out to search for her, not even ask if she was okay. She was dumbfounded to hear that but in the end, she still went back to running, for the people. She has been ignoring and pushing aside her own wants for so long that she doesn't seem to know if it really still matters. Running, was all she did. And running, is what she chose to do for the rest of her life. 

Sometimes, you feel so tired. You don't feel like putting any more effort, knowing that it will only go to waste or very minimal use. Sometimes, it's not even because of yourself. You get tired seeing what others are going through. You feel them. Sometimes, they are quite a distance from you, but when you feel crappy for no reason, you can feel that they are going through it as well and you say quietly inside, "Well, at least we still have something in common. I hope this could lessen yours." You could lose your mind, sooner or later. For some, it has already started. 

Lost in Translation

Today can be the worst day of my life as a student but I'm not gonna think that way. ETP today was great, we had more fun going around playing games and watching the dramas and video presentations than explaining to passers-by about the disease we're promoting. And bought lots of stuffs for charity. Twas amazing. The LAST project for FIS. Hallelujah. Oh yea, my first time playing dart and I hit the bull's eye! :D

And then, the interview. Wanted to cry halfway seriously. What kind of questions.. Okay I admit I wasn't prepared, my bad. And when I told her, she just laughed and said it's okay, I did my best. That made me even.. sigh oh well. So glad it's over. Don't have to worry about it like the others whose turn is tomorrow or on Friday.

I can't believe I played poker with UNO cards before it like nothing. Craps I do at the wrong time. Anyways, today I saw a different side of some people. It's kinda comforting to know that humanity still exists in those who look so cold and insensitive. I feel bad for you but it's not in my power to do anything about it. I'm just an outsider now. I'm glad it's over. Or maybe not start at all.

War time amigos :)