Anything Could Happen.

Howdy. Dang, feel so lost for words. To those who expressed their concerns, thanks a million. Really appreciate them. All is well, no worries. Relatives and friends in the home almost every day, it means a lot. And mum and dad had been telling the same 'story' over and over again. It really does feel like a dream. Like dreaming with side effects. Whatever that means.

Anyways, uni is starting in about two weeks' time. I miss those times where I'll be so excited shopping for a new pair of white school shoes, socks of the same colour tone, stationeries like erasers, ruler and those classic Luna colour pencils although the existing ones were still usable. In the end, I have the whole box of every residuals combined together, making art pieces at home out of school period like I'm Picasso or some random great artist. I didn't attend tuition classes until I was eight. And I used to walk to that fella's house just nearby. After a while, something happened and I joined Delta.

I have to say, although I was from an all-girls school, the sight of boys weren't at all alien to me. I'm just dead scared to talk to them. The first friend I had in tuition was Lily Hong, and gosh, she and Chee Seng were the tightest enemies. Haha. The things they call each other could make me smile for hours. Like what, Lian Chee Kang? LMAO. Twas definitely a better place compared to the home tuition. And then, UPSR year. More friends from the same school joined the same class, more companies for me. We always hogged the second front row, it was the MGSians' row. Sometimes, we had to combine classes and that's when concentration becomes difficult. The other class had more lively, crazy and outgoing people. I love when it's Math. Gosh, I swear I thought I almost died of heart attack so many times. Awesome lady.

And the ring incident. Now that I thought of it, that was the first time someone ever gave me a ring. No, I asked for it. HAHA. I was just fascinated okay. He had a ring on every single finger of his and there's even spares in his pocket. While waiting to use the loo, I thought why not, it won't harm anyway. Surprisingly, he held out both his hands and asked me to choose. I was so so so happy that night, not because of the ring, but because someone so tough and cold actually treated me so nicely. Sadly, the ring didn't survive long. I got into the waiting room, showed the ring to a friend, he took it from me and dented it flat with the leg of the table. Till today, I never knew the reason. But I thought perhaps they're just school 'rivals'. Oh boy, what memories.

From then on, I was always a kid. Been a kid till sixteen. Still a kid at seventeen. Eighteen, perhaps a lil' less. And now going on nineteen, hopefully I become more of an adult. I honestly don't know exactly what do people mean when they say they're an adult now, no more a kid. Do they mean they're no more sponsored by their parents? Or they've been through a lot in life? Their thinking changed? They reached 21? Whatever it may be, for me, it is the sense and act of responsibility that makes a person adult. I need to work more on the action part. I'm still very dependent on my parents. I have to admit, I like being their kid. :).

Lost for words konon. Forgive me for the clumsiness in my words, before, now and in the future. Sometimes, things just don't turn out as you imagined. May the best falls upon every beautiful hearts. Buenas noches, amigos.

I'm pretty sure this is me now. :P

CM ♥

After the war,

We said we'd fight together.

I guess we thought,

That's just what humans do.

Anything Could Happen - Ellie Goulding

I feel blessed

I think I'm missing those two fellas already :).

God, I'm smiling. I'm smiling that life has been simple yet so full of contentment in it's sheer simplicity. I could really live a life like this for the rest of my life, only a place far from the city's clouds. I think I know what I want to do but there are certain things that I need to prepare myself with in case the plan backfires and I would need to take on extra roles. Yeah, superwoman.

THE day is nearing, I don't feel the excitement at all. It's actually kind of dreadful. I only wish that that day could be like every other day, me doing normal stuffs, drinking and eating normal every day food, talking about normal stuffs, sms at a normal rate, dress up in normal house clothes. Yea, stuffs like that. I hate it when you intentionally plan up special stuffs on special occasions and things end up the other way round and for the rest of the coming few years, you'll be reminded of it on that supposedly-special day. Justsaying.

Anyways, it's my brother's birthday too and it's Christmas's eve! :D. I'm very excited for Christmas and the New Year's Eve. This year we'll be counting down in Johore and the new year will be a double celebration. Awesome day to have your wedding no? ♥. 

Happy Bola-bola festival. I just put on 1.5kg having dinner in grand's place. Seriously heaven. 

I love you

I love you so much

I feel like ripping out your heart

And keep it in my pocket close to mine

So random :P

Booze and turkey

English was bad. Very very bad. It was not supposed to be bad. It's the only thing I've spoken since I could speak. Okay, let's just put it aside and work harder for the next and last paper, Bio. But not now :). Bio is at 2pm tomorrow.

Every time you feel like you're about to go all emo and depressed and finish a whole tub of ice-cream, it's bad. It's seriously bad. And you tell yourself, it's okay, this is the last time I'm gonna be like this. Tomorrow, everything's gonna be the same again. It doesn't. Haha, it doesn't. It sucks.

Whatever it is, after tomorrow, there will be a break. May the break heals everything and when we meet again, everything will be just like how we have never met before. You have a great person by your side, cherish it. OhwhatamIcrapping. Alrighty, bio bio bio. Tata world.

Just love

That gloomy morning, he held up his glass so high after finishing his last sip of colourless, tasteless liquid and paused for a moment. The next thing you know, gravity is the only force acting on it. The loud piercing sound of the glass broken on the floor woke the other occupants of the home. In just a split second, everyone still in their PJs hurried out of their bed and gathered around the smartly-dressed man. It was shocking, for one obvious reason, he had never dressed close to neat before all his life in that cold shady home, because he knows, no one was going to visit him anyway so why the trouble. 

For a minute, everyone thought they were in an unknown place and that the person standing in front of their eyes aren't who they thought he was. After over twenty-five silent years, they finally got to hear to a voice so rare, for the very first time. And it was not a greeting nor an apology for how he's been all this while, it was the sound of the most beautiful lines of words in the most drowning melody. It could not be him was the thought that appeared in everyone's clouds above their heads.

This is the story. Twenty-five years ago, he lost the only person he had ever loved so much all his life. He was a young boy, it wasn't him to confront a girl and talk about feelings so he kept mum, years after years. Soon, both of them graduated, he worked in a law firm and she was the most bubbly, kind-hearted nurse in the hospital just two blocks away from where he was working. 

He never once visited her at her work place. You wouldn't believe me if I said they were once very close friends. They were at heart more than friends but everything ended for lack of a better reason, bad timing. One day, she got so fed up with all the ignorance and pretentious smiles she had to fake every single day when she walks past the bistro where he religiously has his lunch without fail, she decided to walk into the bistro. He saw her footstep ended in front of him but he didn't dare to lift up his head. She left a note on the table and walked away. It was the old-age three-letter words. He smiled. What followed next was a nightmare.

What he saw when he ran out of the bistro's door scarred him for life. The love of his life was lying in a pool of blood on the ground, with the left front wheel of a Mustang on her. He never once spoke a word after that.

The end. 

I know the ending sucks but I like it like that. What's the point raising your voice in a court trying to win a case for your client you don't even give a shit until he committed a crime and need someone to clean up his mess for him. What's the point singing when the person you're singing to isn't there to listen to you. What's the point leaving a voice message on her phone when she can't even open it. Why shout your lungs out when it's all too late. 

I'm not trying to point out anything. It just flowed out of my brain to my finger tips to the keyboard :). Today is the best Monday so far. It's sunny out there. And it's time to pack again. Chao.

My pants kept dropping today

Hi. Today was a crazy day, bio and english quiz and moral mid-term. Whoever said moral was easy, I guess it's an entirely different story here in this place beside the 'pond'. We had to write essays, explain concepts and apply one theory to answer a case study. Where did all the MCQ questions went?? Down the pond. Just amazing. Haha when I walked out the room, Wei Wen was like, "...worst than bio, read also cannot answer..." That coming from HER. And the guy sitting beside me was the first to hand in the paper. When the lecturer said start, he attacked the paper with ink without mercy. He definitely knew what he was doing. That, was moral.

English was fun. Twas like studying for the family history of every soul in a town. We memorised names and the  questions was like "Eva's husband, the postmaster, the person who runs a coal business, the name called after Steven Adams, the owner of the grocery, the boy who drew for himself and his mom, etc. and of course, university-level-questions" Bio, what more can I say, like that lah. Well, I'm really not complaining or anything. It's just, my habit to reflect on things that happened in a day before I go to bed.

Okay I forgot everything else that I wanted to blog about. Owh this week's english assignment is to search for a song with the theme based on The Lottery and then presentation this Thursday. Anddd, I've chosen Your Love Is A Lie by Simple Plan :). Nostalgic, for some reason. Childhood song lol.

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut

Sending SOS from this tiny box

And I lost all signals when I lifted off

Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot

Can I please come down, cause I'm tired of drifting round and round

I might just end up as a chef.

Loafer

The past two days, I've been eating, slacking and sleeping a lot. Just don't feel like doing anything, or perhaps I can't. Friday, came back from dinner, wanted to read moral but I slept off before 9pm I think, till the next morning. Saturday, I was walking around the house the whole day, searching and looking through stuffs at every corner of the house and at night, slept off when I was just about to read something. Today, after lunch, slept till six something. Something is seriously not right, I know. Maybe it's just the month, the weather, the horoscope, the feng shui or just hormones. *pulls hair* Need chocolates, lots and lots of it.

Haha this evening, I phoned Ms. Bendy and we talked like quite long I think. It's seriously was like two aunties in their late 50s, talking about their lives and life in general. I have beer belly, like seriously. I don't drink that much okay, it's 'hardly', I dislike drinking, I don't drink for no reason, it's like pouring fuel and lighting it up in your system. But sometimes, you know, sometimes, circumstances make people change, even for a split second. And driving, seriously can make me go nuts. This week is gonna be hectic again with quizzes and all. All the best all who's facing their finals soon. Take care of your health no matter what. Aight, gonna pack and brush and sleep. Hopefully a smooth-sail through dreamland tonight. Happy day.

I'm a sensitive. 

Almost bald

Every time I go to that place, I learn to adapt to changes, something which I dislike doing. I sat there and the same conversation took place, she obviously was sick of it, plus the bad mood she was in because of the previous indecisive customer. Without me saying a word, she held up her pair of shiny cutting tool and seconds later, I felt tensions on hundred strands connected to my head. I was closing my eyes afraid to look up and I heard my mum said, "It's pretty short already. Don't go home and c-r-y uh."

Hah. This feeling, it will fade off slowly and my hair will come back to me, no, from me gradually. But for the moment, Im'ma enjoy my almost-bald-head. I'm not bald, just that, I don't feel anything waving significantly when the wind blows anymore. Lol. And my brother clearly said he hates it. 

WALAU BAGAIMANAPUN, haha, life goes on right. Speaking of that, it's funny how people always advise someone to leave the past in the past and move on when that person already did that. Just because your dreams and hopes in the future involve something from the past, that doesn't mean you're weak or anything, does it. Living in denial, some judge. Well, we can always see about that at the end of the road.

Alright, I've gotta pack and scan through my homework. I think I should stop bringing back homework and books over the weekend cause I really don't touch them. Today, I peeled two big packets of prawns and seasoned the lamb. Kinda a lil' bit proud of myself :P. Beautiful week ahead, I hope. Chao.