Night Air

The calm of the ocean, lasted for a decade and a quarter. Not one soul encountered. Nothing surprising. It was an isolated island hidden in the proud shadow of a cluster of beautiful islands with softer sand and bluer water. She literally has never seen daylight until one day, an adventurous explorer-cum-island hopper rowed his overweighted kayak to the back of the giants out of sheer curiosity; and he found her. It was a moment of the most complicated concoction of feelings experienced: joy, excitement, sympathy, confusion, apprehension and of course, curiosity. He believed that everything has its own story to tell but this one, he foresee a rough, challenging journey if he were to persevere to the core of it. He didn't had a plan at that moment, he's just done the south eastern of Africa a week back anyway. So he thought, why not give it a try. Little did he know that his overweighted kayak wasn't going to be sufficient for the duration he was about to endure. She didn't welcome him very well for the first two weeks of his exploration but as he discovered every way to go about with her, he began to enjoy it. The best part was, she, too, began to sprout interest in this mischievous, witty gentleman. She noticed even his slightest quirk, like removing his watch when he needed to write and boy, he hardly removed his spectacles except at night when he goes to bed. As they grew closer, commitment assumingly increases too and nature took its turn to be a pain in the neck. They both experienced the longest period of remorse, incomprehension and devastation of their lives. Being an explorer, he always knew that he has a choice to control his destiny. Hence, he left the island.

We always focus on the start and the end of things. Monday sucks. TGIF. But what happens in the middle. It's the part which matters the most. It's the part if changed, could change the ending entirely. It's the peak of the learning curve. It's everything but the end.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple. - Oscar Wilde

Night air has the strangest flavour

Space to breathe it, time to savour

Night Air - Jamie Woon

We Are In Love

The past two weeks have been super awesomely crazy. Been leaving from and coming back to home in the dark. I really appreciate the trouble and sacrifices mom and dad have to go through. And friends, those who offered help and distractions and those who kept me going. It's amazing how some people have the biggest hearts to get down in the rain with you. That's when it all turns to pure enjoyment.

9th of March was the day I pierced through the stubborn slimey membrane of my bubble. Not entirely torn but that's the biggest first step I've ever made so far. It's just the beginning, said many people. Many more hurdles, bigger ones ahead of me. This is one decision that I really hope I will not regret, as much as I've tried convincing myself that it's worth it before this. Too much that is sacrificed and to be sacrificed. I hope they understand what I'm doing, why I'm doing it.

Love this song the second I hear it. Perfectly dreamy. Good day amigos, always :).

Every colour in the world is in your eyesAnd everywhere you look you shine a lightHollow as the night until I saw youI came back to life when I saw youIt doesn´t matter if the stars forget usIt doesn´t matter if the world don´t know our namesIt doesn´t matter if they talk about usIt doesn´t matter cause we are in, we are in loveWe Are In Love - Cider Sky

When you sang

Love, this world you're stepping into is a different one. You've got to be strong and confident in doing what you believe is right. Cause people are ignorant, they don't understand the things you do. "They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. - John C. Maxwell"

Five hours more to a two-hour class. I enjoy sitting in uni at early hours when the sun is rising, watching the ducks groom themselves, beautifully-dressed people strolling by the lake with friends or their special ones till it's time to rush for lessons. It's funny how people are usually loud and chirpy when they're in a group. But alone, they're a whole different person. The mask is taken off, the real thing sets in and they finally get to take a break. Is it a revolutionary thing. Perhaps, perhaps not.

Oh well. Time to move on to the next agenda. Good Monday, lovelies. :)

Everybody lies, lies, lies

It's the only truth sometimes

Doesn't matter if it's out there waiting for the world to find

Or buried deep inside

Everybody Lies - Jason Walker

blink

This is a random one with random stuffs from the random operating centre.

Just wanna say that I'm really grateful to everyone who've made December such a blissful month. Seems like the entire year had been awesome. To me, that's Santa Claus came true. You guys are amazing. :)

"Seating is a very intimate kind of thing. The body comes intimately into contact with a chair."
I don't know why I laughed so hard with this but yea.

"There are movies that people hate when they see them for the first time, and they still hate them two or three years later. A bad movie is always a bad movie. The problem is that buried among the things that we hate is a class of products that are in that category only because they are weird. They make us nervous. They are sufficiently different that it takes us some time to understand that we actually like them."
Everyone could relate to this I guess, be it food, a song or a sinful thought. :D

Good day amigos, it's reaching the beginning of an ending.

You and I, we don't know why but we are together to walk this way

Walk this way

Without reasons

Without Reasons - Pegase

Beacon

There's always a first time for everything. :)

Been shopping a lot lately. Got a new camera lens cause the old one broke, twice. Went to Low Yat for the first time, thank goodness for the helpful friend, everything went smoothly and I got what I wanted. Law of attraction much? Or maybe it's just luck. And the salesperson was extremely helpful.

Today, class ended early so headed off to more shopping. This time I had a mission and it was a tougher situation this time, because of the evil four-lettered-word everywhere, S.A.L.E. I must say that I am really pleased with the sales assistants in this particular outlet. Such friendliness, it melts away the disappointment and frustrations I had earlier.

What happened was these two ladies approached me, I was like fine just be nice, filled up the survey, answered tonnes of questions of theirs. And finally they got to the root of their 'ambush', asking me to watch a video, trying to brainwash me with the idea of salvation and to follow them to some place to do something. I don't know what to think seriously. I stood there because I respect the subject and did not want to be rude by just walking away from it.

Well, I suppose everything DOES has its first time. Let's embrace the last days of the year with lots of anticipation. Good days, amigos! :D

You were the one and it was enough

To be the one you were dreaming of

You were the one and we called it love

And now you take it all away, take it all away!

Take It All Away - Owl City

Five peas for peace.

It's been an enjoyable week. Getting busier with classes and hanging out with AIESECers whenever there's break. I wish I joined AIESEC earlier though 'cause there's just so much to discover and so many inspiring people with priceless stories to be heard from. Now I get how these people bond together so closely in such short period of time. It is because they shared the same feelings and went through the same intensity of transformation that made them feel like they have grown to become better people with each other's support.

This past few days, I've come to realise that time is really not a factor in determining how well you know a person. You can know a person for a day and feel like you've known him or her for years because you share so much in common with them. It makes you feel like there's finally someone whom you don't have to explain every bit of yourself to. I believe I've found a really important friend, mentor and companion who may or may not stay around in my life for a long time. Nevertheless, it's been a great pleasure knowing him and hopefully no peas or ducks are harmed during the process. LOL.

I guess things are pretty much back to normal now. Went out for dinner together with family and grandparents today for the first time after the incident. The lil' one is officially free from whatever food-restraining order by the queen. It's just great, to be with the people you love and care the most and enjoy awesome food. Have a joy-filled and wonderfully blessed week ahead, amigos. It's beautiful if you just see it with the right mind. Peace, love and understanding y'll. :)

This is rare. I'm actually excited that it's Monday tomorrow and I have to go to uni! :D

Only you could see

The emptiness I feel

When you're with me

Only You - Ellie Goulding

Halcyon!!! :)

Halcyon

First day of orientation. I thought it was super duper boring. Maybe I was too tired that I slept off during the briefing. I honestly didn't mean it as I wouldn't like it too if people were to fall asleep when I'm speaking. And I was sitting beside a senior who's busy with her iPad. Anyways, it's great seeing all those familiar faces again. Some of them changed their appearance a little, getting prettier and more ladylike. I enjoyed and really appreciate those who actually came up and said hi to me and we had a lil' chat. It's sad to see some who perhaps are comfortable enough staying within their own clique so they actually gave that I-didn't-see-you-there look and turned away when I looked directly at them and threw a couple of smiles. I felt like I was an alien with huge external eyeballs or something. So weird. The lecturers looked quite intimidating though, and there's darn many rules to abide to. It's gonna be awesome.

We all know that anything could happen, we just don't think about it that often. Hence, do what you think is important to you. Don't waste time on people who don't appreciate and love you back. Open up your heart and allow the right people in. It's okay if intruders get in cause one day, they'll come to realise that they don't have a nest to take cover it when the cold harsh wind or the hot blazing fire comes washing the don't-matters away. "It's not what you've lost but what you find."

Often I lie wide awake, think of things

I can make but I don't seem to have

The parts to build them

Human - Ellie Goulding

Drunk after twelve.

Hello there. It's been a great weekend and a blissful Monday thanks to the West Malaysia. The big one is in Kuching now for work. So awesome the food there, I can imagine him wohlapping all the goodness there. So the usual four of us went on a day out shopping. We really let ourselves go, sort of like pampering ourselves a little and to welcome new beginnings. Bought some 'CNY clothes', (but we always end up wearing them before the festive days), finally got a taste of what the mille crepe cake out there tastes like (and yup I've got to work on mine, like way a lot), had Snowflake cause the craving was too overwhelming and had the very delicious Ipoh Hor Fun at Jalan Gasing before heading for home sweet home. I couldn't remember but I think I slipped to Slumberland that night with a permanent smile carved on my face.

Four more days. I'm counting down on the days and I am still as clueless as I ever was. We all know those times when we kept going on thinking about something but never seemed to get to the answer or at least, a conclusion. So you just let it go and fall to sleep cause you're out of zing for the night. It's kinda frustrating waking up to a few consecutive mornings with the same episode of your thoughts from the day before. But it's all right, it always does get better. 'Cause you know from experience, that after some time, it'll all fade away and look like a petty thing among all the other bigger stuffs in your life at the moment. I honestly don't know what am I even mentioning about. I think it's a syndrome I'm having.

Alrighty, time for bed. Oh yea, somebody said that eating cheese right before bed gives you sweet dreams. Preferably cheddar lah kay. So yup, cheese up! :)

Ellie Goulding - Bright Lights ♥

Anything Could Happen.

Howdy. Dang, feel so lost for words. To those who expressed their concerns, thanks a million. Really appreciate them. All is well, no worries. Relatives and friends in the home almost every day, it means a lot. And mum and dad had been telling the same 'story' over and over again. It really does feel like a dream. Like dreaming with side effects. Whatever that means.

Anyways, uni is starting in about two weeks' time. I miss those times where I'll be so excited shopping for a new pair of white school shoes, socks of the same colour tone, stationeries like erasers, ruler and those classic Luna colour pencils although the existing ones were still usable. In the end, I have the whole box of every residuals combined together, making art pieces at home out of school period like I'm Picasso or some random great artist. I didn't attend tuition classes until I was eight. And I used to walk to that fella's house just nearby. After a while, something happened and I joined Delta.

I have to say, although I was from an all-girls school, the sight of boys weren't at all alien to me. I'm just dead scared to talk to them. The first friend I had in tuition was Lily Hong, and gosh, she and Chee Seng were the tightest enemies. Haha. The things they call each other could make me smile for hours. Like what, Lian Chee Kang? LMAO. Twas definitely a better place compared to the home tuition. And then, UPSR year. More friends from the same school joined the same class, more companies for me. We always hogged the second front row, it was the MGSians' row. Sometimes, we had to combine classes and that's when concentration becomes difficult. The other class had more lively, crazy and outgoing people. I love when it's Math. Gosh, I swear I thought I almost died of heart attack so many times. Awesome lady.

And the ring incident. Now that I thought of it, that was the first time someone ever gave me a ring. No, I asked for it. HAHA. I was just fascinated okay. He had a ring on every single finger of his and there's even spares in his pocket. While waiting to use the loo, I thought why not, it won't harm anyway. Surprisingly, he held out both his hands and asked me to choose. I was so so so happy that night, not because of the ring, but because someone so tough and cold actually treated me so nicely. Sadly, the ring didn't survive long. I got into the waiting room, showed the ring to a friend, he took it from me and dented it flat with the leg of the table. Till today, I never knew the reason. But I thought perhaps they're just school 'rivals'. Oh boy, what memories.

From then on, I was always a kid. Been a kid till sixteen. Still a kid at seventeen. Eighteen, perhaps a lil' less. And now going on nineteen, hopefully I become more of an adult. I honestly don't know exactly what do people mean when they say they're an adult now, no more a kid. Do they mean they're no more sponsored by their parents? Or they've been through a lot in life? Their thinking changed? They reached 21? Whatever it may be, for me, it is the sense and act of responsibility that makes a person adult. I need to work more on the action part. I'm still very dependent on my parents. I have to admit, I like being their kid. :).

Lost for words konon. Forgive me for the clumsiness in my words, before, now and in the future. Sometimes, things just don't turn out as you imagined. May the best falls upon every beautiful hearts. Buenas noches, amigos.

I'm pretty sure this is me now. :P

CM ♥

After the war,

We said we'd fight together.

I guess we thought,

That's just what humans do.

Anything Could Happen - Ellie Goulding

P.S. I love you.

Came back home and didn't want to go to bed just yet. So I deliberately chose this one movie from the many I have in the folder. Now I'm just, weird. Haha. I really like this quote at the end, "Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal when life as you know it ends. PS, I will always love you."

Sometimes, you don't have to share the same experiences or thoughts to be moved or touched. There are many other emotions and feelings you've yet to discover and learn to react to. Some, much lighter and cheery and some, way heavier than the usual. There's nothing you can't do really, you've just got to shove aside those unnecessary thoughts of yours and get right down at it. Just like the woman I love most. :).

I know I'm getting the best that I deserve. I just know it. Lovely day to all. =)

Give me reason but don't give me choice

'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again

Same Mistake - James Blunt

Broken Brights

Happy Raya. Happy Lemang. Happy Rendang. Happy Ketupat. I love the festive season. Visited dad's friend and tasted one of the best authentic Malay cuisine I've known. Yumyumm. And after that, lil' one and I tagged along god-uncle and family to KLCC for the Popular Bookfest. Packed. Super duper crowded. Everywhere you turn, you see a face or the back of it, with or without hair right in front of yours. But twas enjoyable. So so sooo many books. And so darn cheap. Like I said, too many options kills the brain. However, not that hard this time with the ruthless one by my side. Gosh, one thing he says and you could voluntarily crush your fancy dreams and wants to powder in your very own hands. Haha. We also did a 'quick browse' through the stationery and IT section. I spent most of the time at the kids and crafts area as always. Children, you have no idea how lucky you are. NO. Okay, then, we had dinner and walked around while enjoying the night view around the lake. Twas breathtaking. Too bad I didn't have Noelle with me. Anyhow, I had a great day today. I hope the same for everyone, everyday, everywhere. Goodnight. Lots of peace, love and understanding . :).

Take me home

Where them broken brights

Are shining down

Make me feel alright

Broken Brights - Angus Stone

Block, Jump, Kick!

Last weekend, like always, twas a last minute plan. Thursday the idea popped up out of nowhere and Saturday morning, we were in the car uphill. Twas great, getting away from the heat of the city for a while. Family outings like this, although short, it brings a lot of enlightenment and joy. Twas all I needed. :)

Since I am so free, I thought I'll make some digital collages, instead of uploading the photos one by one. It saves time too I think, maybe not. Too many options kills me.

The few 'decent' snaps of us.

It's rare you can see such variety of flowers here. I'm glad I snapped them all.

Sadly, I can only name one. ROSES. :D

What else do you do in a cold place like that. Food! ;)

The guy I met at the tea plantation, signboards, somebody's giant antic shoes, peace sign coated with glove, lonely leaf flowing down the waterfall stream, beautiful lamp, 'ichigo', a kid playing in the super cold water, naked!

Feel like I'm in a Bollywood scene :D.

Peace, love and understanding y'll. 

It's a dark night on the west coast

Then a soft breeze as the sun rose

Then the phone rang like a gunshot

Like a siren on the beach rock

Sirens - Angels & Airwaves

Poison & Wine

I'm the kind of person who blinds out the words in a song and just absorbs the melody by default. Maybe that's why when I like a song, it stays that way for a very very long time. By listening to its melody, rhythm and emotions packed densely in the rise and fall of the soulful voice, you could clearly tell what's behind those soothing vibrations. Only then, I listen closely to the lyrics and finally get the whole magnificent picture of the story. Most of the time, I don't bother doing that. Everybody interprets things differently, has their own beautiful imaginations, relates to and confront things in their own one-of-a-kind way. There's no right or wrong. All you need is an open mind, a light heart and all your senses functioning as one.

Everyone's special and beautiful in their own ways. Let's not let anyone temper with that. I may have made tonnes of mistakes, been as clueless and ignorant as a tree, but all that only makes me human, no.. And I will learn from there. 'Cause it's grace to keep trying. I don't know why I'm saying this. Perhaps it's been a long day. A great day, a wonderful outing with those whom I've had a splendid time with and learnt so much from. :')

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back

The less I give, the more I get back

Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise

I don't have a choice, but I'd still choose you

Oh I don't love you, but I always will

Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars

Nights amigos.

Clarence's, tomorrow.

Some people say, focus on one thing and only one at a time and work super hard towards it. 

She's got tickets to her own show

But nobody wants to go

And I'm stuck sitting in the front row

I'm singing along like there's no tomorrow

Tickets - Maroon 5

O, Anna Sun!

The holiday is indeed getting weird with me spending my precious seconds doing well, weird things. Went to campus to read novels and then, visited a friend who's working at the mall, ate ice-cream, before that 'accidentally' slipped a super awesome puzzle at the McD counter into my bag, walked the entire mall to get back to the car and finished two seasons of TBBT in about a week's time.

I'm adapting to the lack of need for organisation, planning and time-conscience. It's kinda a mixed feeling thing. You feel all free-spirited at one moment but at times, it turns to frustration and nothing-ness. You just get lost really, aimless. And in Dreamland, it's insane, what I could dream of. Don't wanna remember any of those please.

Strange things happen but well, for a good reason you'll realise some day.

Don't you just love how certain things in life work. :) Chao amigos, good days.

Seventeenth

Howdy. I hate to say this, but I'm so sick of holiday already. Mind's too vacant it flies aimlessly and was kind enough it brought back souvenirs. Thank god for the good melodies in the background. Maybe a trip next week, just maybe. Good weekend :).

Set The Fire to the Third Bar - Snow Patrol
Maybe - Ingrid Michaelson
Breathe - Angels and Airwaves
Calling Me Names - Good Old War
Volcano - Damien Rice
The Symphony - Snow Patrol

You in my dream again

Two downed, two more to go. There's quite a lot more to stuff into my brain but my mind is just too distracted to do that. Recently, there's been things that kind of surprised me. It's really disappointing. I mean, it's coming to the end already, why can't things just remain pretty for a lil' more. That way, I'll continue having this good, pleasant memories of them. Now, it's destroyed, it's hard to say this but it's the truth.

Just one week, and you have changed so much. Now I see how badly you do when you lose your glasses. But I'll understand and I'll just look past it. It's not the right time to be thinking of this anyway. And the other, your every act spells selfish, weak and insensitive. I feel sick just typing this, I don't want to go on. I don't like speaking the bad sides of people but these people are not typical acquaintances. But I know my position in this, I have no right to speak as loud as the others. But my eyes are clear and can't be fooled. It's coming to an end, like I said. Perhaps I should go on being silent to protect this pretty lie.

Just recently, I was reminded of a very important habit that we often neglect being so caught up with our own lives and problems, that is to never judge a book by its cover. A person who's quiet or harsh could have a thousand and one problems behind their strong exteriors. They might be wanting to hide something or to see if you're concerned enough to notice and make the first move. It's tiny things like this that determines how close you are in connecting with a person. It's funny how all those happy moments just wipe out of your head for a while when you start to have bad ones. I'm glad I have met true, real supporting friends though who is such a blessing from Him.

Well, all these stuffs.. I am a real sensitive I know. Lol I guess the stress level has gone too low that my mind has become too occupied. And the diarrhoea, flu, stomachache and dizziness. The moon was so round and bright just a few days back and now, the strong winds and storms are coming to accompany us tonight. May the force be with us, as what Kam said. All the best for the remaining days, amigos. :)

Suddenly I have this feeling,

Tasting copper in my mouth

Copper Down - The Boy Who Trapped the Sun

Aurum

They say everything happens for a reason. What happened today is going to be an unforgettable one. It's so silly. I didn't know why I acted like that. It's like I didn't care one inch about everything and everyone around me and I just did it, so publicly. And I didn't stop there, I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. It went on for a while till home. And then, it went on hysterical mode. Crap. One small thing led to another and the deepest, darkest one.

I feel bad. But grateful.

Someone Told Me - Jake Bugg

Forward

Another month had passed. We really shouldn't stop at one point and ponder too long cause time will keep going and the slower you learn from your mistakes and move on to the next step, the further behind you will be. And, the day you lose someone you love is the day another hole is punched from your heart. Without realising, you're making mental notes in your head every time you look at the calendar. Soon, everything will be a habit you don't even need to try.

Happy May. Let it be a great one. :)

I see my pretty face in his old eyes

I listen to our blood run side by side

I throw my hands to you

I run away

It's so cold so dangerous that I can't stay

Soley - Pretty Face

No. 7

Some things I say, I don't feel like saying it any more if it's not to you. Some things I think about, I think it's pointless when you don't know that I do. You think I'm proud, you think I'm fine. But I am only hoping that all of that are you. I don't see you in my dreams any more. Is it because I am slowly getting tired and falling asleep. Sometimes I only hope that there is no more hope in me. 

How would you cope if the world decided to make you suffer for all that you were

How could you dance if noone was watching and you couldn't even get off the floor

What would you do if you couldn't even feel, not even pitiful pain

How would you deal with the empty decisions, eating away at the days

TNAF!