Halcyon

First day of orientation. I thought it was super duper boring. Maybe I was too tired that I slept off during the briefing. I honestly didn't mean it as I wouldn't like it too if people were to fall asleep when I'm speaking. And I was sitting beside a senior who's busy with her iPad. Anyways, it's great seeing all those familiar faces again. Some of them changed their appearance a little, getting prettier and more ladylike. I enjoyed and really appreciate those who actually came up and said hi to me and we had a lil' chat. It's sad to see some who perhaps are comfortable enough staying within their own clique so they actually gave that I-didn't-see-you-there look and turned away when I looked directly at them and threw a couple of smiles. I felt like I was an alien with huge external eyeballs or something. So weird. The lecturers looked quite intimidating though, and there's darn many rules to abide to. It's gonna be awesome.

We all know that anything could happen, we just don't think about it that often. Hence, do what you think is important to you. Don't waste time on people who don't appreciate and love you back. Open up your heart and allow the right people in. It's okay if intruders get in cause one day, they'll come to realise that they don't have a nest to take cover it when the cold harsh wind or the hot blazing fire comes washing the don't-matters away. "It's not what you've lost but what you find."

Often I lie wide awake, think of things

I can make but I don't seem to have

The parts to build them

Human - Ellie Goulding

J'adore macarons!

Bonjour amis. Just gonna share some delicious snaps and I'm heading off to another dimension. So twas a beautiful Thursday. Went to Eng Ann to get some stuffs and headed back and got to work. Took me about six hours 'cause I was being really really cautious, didn't want to screw up (there's so much almond in it!). And my patience and prayers paid off well at the end with really cute, crunchy yet chewy babies. Satisfied and happy I was although my entire back and legs ached like mad due to all the hunching-overs in front of the oven. Twas magic, and me created it. :D.

And yesterday, had a good run while enjoying the beautiful shapes and patterns formed by the clouds. There's just something about the sky that makes me feel like everything else around me is taken away for a while and all I had to do is open my eyes wide and be amazed. I can't tell how but I've learnt quite a few things from it, nature. Sometimes, it pops up thoughts you don't expect. I don't know if it's normal or anything but I don't think it's at all crazy to have debates and small talks with yourself. But I always know that someone is listening. He's there and he loves me. 

And ouh, I had a dream of a baby yesterday. A really cute and smart one. I was cuddling him in my arms and he was like touching my face and playing with my ear? His super tiny fingers, they are so delicate and ticklish. Twas such a happy occasion and I almost tear up looking at his pure joy-filled smiles. I know it's different from the usual but I don't think it's weird.

I think it's crazy good. Nights. :).

The lil' one made those smilies. 

I thought the left one is scary-looking. Haha.

I never imagined you dead.

Went for the assessment yesterday. Twas kinda fun. Started off with some dances and then we had to sit in a circle. The situation was kinda tensed really because there were so many unfamiliar faces observing us. And we had to present about stuff that I honestly wouldn't give a crap about if not because of someone some time ago. There wasn't much crowd today, only got to meet a few fellows including a cheerleader. And then, the interview. I was the last to go which made me quite nervous and shivery as the temperature in the room started to decline. I went into the other room, saw their faces, didn't think much, only recognised them as males. They introduced themselves and when they asked me to do the same, I laughed a lil' too loudly and in a cynical way. Gosh what nervousness does to me. It was the exact same thing that happened during the degree interview. I clearly remembered laughing inappropriately throughout the whole 'chatting' session. In my mind, I was singing "Ooh you're so dead, LKY." But the right-hand-side dude kept yawning and I got a lil' distracted, fumbling at every word I had to say. The questions got weirder from one to another, from "Why pharmacy?" to "Sell this ashtray to me, but I don't smoke." Good experience indeed. Hope to receive good news these few days to come. *cross fingers*

Staying up late again. This is so unhealthy. Alrighty, photos of le bakes, mi amigos and ciao.

I find baking fascinating for some reasons.

One: Transformation.

 It amuses me how a little heat could do such magic tricks.

I ain't no baker, I'm a magician. ;)

Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.

Broken Bottles Form A Star

I've been dreading to blog cause I know, once I'm at this page, my mind will go blank and my fingers will start dancing over these squarish, alphabet-labelled thingy with the intention of baring my heart and backfiring the initial plan made by Mr. Mind. It happens to others too I'm sure, but I don't know, I don't feel comfortable typing out every single thing that I'm going through here.

It's about a month now I'm enjoying my break and homework-free lifestyle. And I've got to say, having spent so much time alone at home, you really can't help it but to feel lonely and isolated. It's like you could even hear the pumping sound of your own breathing, the pounding of your blood when it hits the wall of your heart and veins and the voice of your mind speaking out every time it has an opinion. It really makes you think and more substantially, hear what YOU are saying.

I just realised I've been blogging for years, with the same link address. Back then, the purpose was simple; to let people whom you want them to 'stalk' you know what are your interests and personalities like. Slowly as I 'mature', I began to complain, crap, gossip, and emo my heart out here. So unhealthy. I thought of stopping. Then I thought, maybe there's still someone out there who is still following up on me. I don't know, maybe the future me? It's silly but a tinge of false hope won't hurt, will it. Certain things are meant to be the same for a long long time. There's no point trying to meddle with it. It is written with ink, can't be erased.

Perhaps years from now I'll look back and laugh at myself. I definitely will haha. Happy midweek =). 

Did some baking. And stacking. :)

My new hobby. 

Hearing Voices

The past one week, a lot had happened. Tears, shove offs, harsh text messages, apologises. All that had above all the pain, brought us closer together with deeper understanding of each other. I shouldn't have done that to her. Wanting to isolate myself. What was I thinking. But, this is the beauty of family. No matter how rotten up you are, they will take you in with the warmest hug, anytime. Because it is true, unconditional love. Her apologising, was the most unexpected and significant thing that she had ever done, which makes me respect her even more at a whole new sky-high level.

I learn not to keep things inside myself. If you have some things to sort out, do it right away. If the person on the other end really matters to you, all the more reason for you to do it. It's stupid to assume and just wait for miracles to happen. You want something, you go get it. No one's gonna do it for you, unless you lack an arm and a leg and what you wish for is only a piece of cheeseburger. Dream on, and your dreams will come crashing down on you when you realise that thing you're hoping for is gone, for-e-ver. I'm doing just this, bit by bit. I know I might not have it but at least, I tried, even though I might screw up for the hundredth time. The only thing that's holding me back is the fear that I would lose it even more. That's old fashion thinking. I seriously do not want to wake up in the middle of the night, thinking furiously about it anymore. Really. 

She told me, always be happy and do not let anyone take that away from you. What's most important is you're satisfied. Don't bother about what other people think about you. You know the truth. That is all that matters. 

Muffins, cupcakes, whatever you call it, I made for the ETP. 

Six hours of sweat, blood and smiles(seriously, there's blood).

Smile till the end :)

"I know what love is. When you find the person you are supposed to love, bells ring and fireworks go off in your head and you can't find words to speak and you think about her all the time. When you find the person you are supposed to love, you will know by staring deeply into her eyes."

-Jacob-

House Rules, Jodi Picoult

Shine Forever

Hello. 

Yesterday night was like one of those nights I used to have very often last time. I woke up every an hour, catching my breath like I've just finished a seven kilometres run. Six something, mum woke us up for jogging then we had nasi kerabu and shopped for groceries. Twas the hilarious moment during breakfast again with jokes and nice people.

This afternoon, drove to Eng Ann to buy ingredients to bake. It's been so long since I last baked. So yea, tried new stuffs, did new things, and I made it. I've never actually succeeded making a considerably acceptable frosting on muffins before. Somehow, this time it worked and I didn't systematically measured the stuffs. Just went with it with only gut feelings as my guide.

It's true that when you do something sincerely from your heart, it will turn out good. But not always.

The undecorated kids.

The decorated yummy-looking kids.

The Happy-go-lucky.

The Horizontally Confused.

The No. 2 Grumpy.

The Organised PDA.

The Average Party-goer.

The Michael Jackson Wannabe. :P

The 'Si Gila'.

(inspiration of lil' one's smelly bolster)

The Happy Eight.

And...I don't know how and why I got the weird idea to do the following snaps.

Maybe it is what I wish for today.

For a moment like this. 

Internet connection at home stinks. I did this post yesterday and posting it today. Oh well, good day :).

No city girl at heart

The other day when the threesome got 'excited' :)

 The Pig Intestine Rice Set Meal

Haih. The moment I started typing, my mind just went blank. So last Saturday, the choir 'oldies' walked down the memory lane and met up with the juniors. Walking into that school doesn't feel the same like it used to anymore, its striking orange colour really gives me the weird, not-so-friendly vibes and the orangy doors and everything makes it so warm. Nevertheless, the colour definitely made the students ever energetic and super lively. The inter-house volleyball competition was going on at the basketball court and the audiences were like cheering everytime a fella managed to serve the ball over to the other side. Haha. I used to be the one so hooked up with that yellow-white-blue ball once upon a time. I miss wearing my No.7 jersey in the court, getting myself tanned before CNY and the grueling trainings weeks before competition.

Now, I'm a couch potato munching honey stars in front of the tv. I was supposed to be at work in a hotel now till midnight but as expected, the same old reason was haunting behind their mind, "Because you're a girl..." I know.. but I grew up with three brothers and learned Taekwondo, instead of ballet or piano since I was seven. I actually tried imagining what will I do if I have a daughter and yea, I think I get what they mean and their worries. And the hormonal imbalances that my baby girl will often go through. Lol.

Dreams. I had lots of crazy dreams while asleep but what about the real dreams which I want to achieve in reality. Since primary school, I dream of having my own chocolate factory. Yes, seriously. I really love chocolate so much. Even when baking, I like trying out all those recipes with the delicious word 'chocolate' first. Maybe a factory is too huge a dream but perhaps, a little English concept cafe facing a serene beautiful garden which serves homemade chocolates, cakes, freshly baked scones, hot chocolate, coffee, tea and souvenirs for the tourists from another part of the globe. And in my past time, I could just sit at the most strategic spot of the garden, enjoying the gorgeous scenic view accompanied by the soothing sound of water splashing the man-made fountain while reading the daily papers and having my cup of hot chocolate and two pieces of mouth-watering homemade Belgian chocolate. Ahh...so peaceful. Hehe :)

...and admire the different patterns of clouds in the sky.

 ...and hurt myself while gardening.

...and bake when I'm having special guests over.

 When the lady above reaches 70, she'll probably be a fat, voluptious, curvacious (maybe still sexy) woman with the crooked front teeth smiling like she just killed a cat and no one knows about it. In the evening, she will tell stories to a group of children at the park and on weekends, she'll sing at her friend's night bar, "You make me feel, you make me feel, you make me feel like a natural woman~"

Everybody said she's lonely

'..but I feel him with me all the time' 

she ended with a tear